Weekend Recap

Oh Monday, I’m not a fan of any week day, but you take the cake because you come first, all taking joy from my weekend fun and stuff…To recap my weekend I would probably say some negative things, but I need to learn to complain less and be more grateful, so I’m gonna try and shed some positive light over this recap.

Friday was all dandy, just worked all day, came home to my boy waiting at my house which was nice cause I only see him on weekends and then we went out with a bunch of our friends and had an okay time. I was a bit tired so I don’t think I was as much fun as I could’ve been.

Saturday I was really excited for; it was one of my BFFs birthdays and we were taking a party bus to Royal Oak and that means drunken weird times, which I love. It started off super fun, drinking heavily on the bus with a randomly awesome crowd of people, tho I have some random bruises from our bus drivers crazy driving. Then we got to the first bar, where before I even get in I…dun dun dun… lose my purse, including wallet, phone, etc.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! I emphasize because if you knew me, you’d know I have lost my damn wallet/purse oh about every other month in the past year, sometimes more than once a month.

So I’m screwed, I run back to the bus to look for my wallet, by the time I come back, everyones in the bar already, bus was already gone, so what do I do? Sit on a bench in 20 degree weather in my dress smoking cigs for 2 hours. Thankfully my wonderful boyfriend noticed I was missing and pretty much stayed with me the entire time, poor guy, it was cold. All my friends were too shit faced to even know this was going on, so that sucked.  But on a bright note we did wander the streets with a local friend and got some good sliders and warmed up for a bit.

The crazy part is, I have bad and good luck; I lose the wallet a lot, but three times in a row now has someone found this exact wallet and sent it back/ called me. This time it was the door guy at the first bar; someone did steal $100 out of it, but left all my other shit… I don’t get it.. Oh well, still happy to have my stuff even tho I did already cancel every card and even my phone, such a hassle I always put myself through.

Once I charged my old phone I looked to see if anyone used it. They did. The door guy, texted my friend who was in the bar from my phone saying he found it. Sadly girlfran was too drunk to look at her phone and we didn’t find out until the next day someone had found it. It’s such an odd stroke of luck that I lose my shit, someone finds it, steals from it, leaves the rest; all of this happening while I’m literally sitting right there oblivious to it all.

So looking back trying to make a positive out of it isn’t too hard, I may have lost $100 bucks and had to pay another $100 to get a replacement phone and paid $35 to ride on the bus but those were really my only losses and they aren’t life or death things, so I need to learn to not get so upset. Actually I think I did a good job. Normally I would’ve sat there and cried or freaked out on someone, but I didn’t. Maybe I was too cold to know what to even think or say but I just sat. So I was proud because that’s not normally what I would’ve done. Okay I did cry the next morning when I got overwhelmed dealing with cancelling everything and paying for a new phone with no credit card lol but I got over it quickly and I didn’t get angry. So that’s a small success for me.

Tonight I am planning a quest to the gym, going to get a good run in, and hopefully some arms/abs, we’ll see. I feel bad leaving the dogs for long periods cause my roommates have been gone 2 weeks and they think they’re never coming back haha I digress… well here is a picture of some of us crazy fools on the bus. I’m the one in the red dress to the right of the stripper pole with the beer making a face. Typical me.

 

I hope yall have a spectacular day and week. Leave me some lovin in the comments or let me know what to write about, I’d sure appreciate it!

Inner Beauty

Watching an old school episode of MADE on MTV on my lunch break is what prompted today’s topic. Long story short the girl was a big tomboy and a bully with a foul mouth who wanted to be made into a pageant girl, a.k.a more proper. She talked about not being pretty and how she never has felt pretty in her entire life, and wishing she looked more like her friends. This made me think a lot about inner beauty and how it’s really important to recognize in yourself and other people.

There are a lot of people in this world who weren’t blessed with good looks, but are the most beautiful people, because of who they are. Just as there are some very good looking people in this world who are actually ugly because of who they truly are on the inside. Inner beauty shines out, so does inner ugly.

I felt such a relationship to this girl on the show because I was just like her when I was going through puberty. I’m sure my parents and friends would all say I’ve always been beautiful. Who is ever going to honestly tell you, “Sorry, you’re just not pretty”… let’s be honest. But my point is, I never felt that way for a very long time, I still have a hard time admitting to thinking I’m pretty (I have some fear of coming off conceited if I talk like that). I was a tomboy, always had my hair up, playing sports, cussing, but thankfully never a bully, and also, not the cutest; I actually was mistaken for a boy in my class when I had an awful haircut as a child. True story. Back to my point; it sucks to not feel pretty, because as we know, in our society looks matter.

 I struggled for a long time to be happy because all that mattered to me was how I looked. I was young and hadn’t even begun to discover who I was as a person yet, aside from what I looked like so I focused a lot on being teased for being overweight or ugly or boyish. I always had boys as friends but never any boys who had crushes on me. Not until I was in high school really. I wish it hadn’t taken me this long to get here, but I have finally gotten a really good grasp on who I am as a person. And do you know what, as it pains me to say it because I don’t want to come off conceited, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

I am beautiful because of who I am, nothing to do with looks at all. I don’t think I’m perfect, I definitely have flaws. But how I came to the conclusion of this is that my intentions are never ill. I have a bigger heart than I sometimes would like. Only once in my life has someone ever hurt me enough that I couldn’t give them any more chances. But even so, my heart still feels for that person on occasion, I don’t wish ill upon them, because I’m a kind person, I’d like to think. I also am beautiful because of my ability to laugh and make others laugh. I find humor healing and it definitely helps to not take things so seriously sometimes. Life needs to be fun.

The two things I do find ugly in myself are my negativity and lack of patience, which inspired my blog title. Not like I need to say much about it, we all know those are not good qualities, we all probably struggle with it. What I’m striving for is to get better with those things, and thankfully, with A LOT of hard work, I’m getting there, slowly but surely. Baby steps.  That’s what this journey is all about. I’m on a journey for inner peace, not happiness. Happiness is not a destination; it is inner peace; learning to be okay with the things life throws at you and still moving on peacefully with your life.

All in all I just really want to encourage everyone to always, always look within for self-worth. Looks truly shouldn’t matter, I know they do, and physical attraction and all that crap matters, but you know what I mean. It’s important to love yourself as a person, that’s where confidence should truly come from.

For now I leave you with a funny picture I found today. I’m terrible at accepting compliments so I found it funny, and yes im foul mouthed, love it or leave it, sorry! Leave me some love or suggestions on what I should write next please! Have a fantastical Friday friends! J