No Fast Food January

So the working out has been going decently, I still haven’t gotten in there as much as I would like. I’ve been discouraged by all the New Year’s resolutioners, which is bad because I should be encouraged by them and encouraging them. It’s crazy that despite the large ware house style gym I attend; there are not enough machines for everyone. Okay, well maybe there are but all I ever want is a treadmill, running has helped me tone up the most to date. Apparently everyone else knows my secret too.

I have a hard time lifting free weights because that’s like the “guys” section. I think I even have a hard time with the machines because they’re right in front of everyone on the cardio machines, everyone staring at you. I guess they probably do on the treadmill too but thankfully I can’t see behind me. So obviously what we can all gather from this is I have a confidence issue, I don’t like to be looked at, and it makes me all self-conscious.  I could really use some tips on how to power through and just do it, other than who gives a shit what other people think. Well, me, that’s why I’m saying this, I can’t just change my thought process at the drop of a hat, believe me I would if I could.

There is definitely something to that not caring what people think theory though. It has gotten me through a few other things in life, like learning to be my truest self, so why can’t it get me through this? Why am I so shy at the gym to look stupid yet I don’t care in most other daily situations? There’s not too many ways around this fear other than A. working out at home, which I only own 10lb free weights and a yoga mat, although I do know you can do body weight exercises at home, and B. Just getting the eff over it, I mean really, I’m supposed to be a grown adult and I can’t lift weights in fear of looking dumb? Maybe a gym buddy would help, but I think most people are just as clueless as me and I don’t want to be the leader of that pack. I kinda miss my gym buddy who was a guy who knew everything, that didn’t last long though, our work shifts were just different and he lived a little far away for us to commute to each other. Any who.

So, why not workout at home with the body weight exercises. Man I have an excuse for everything I swear, maybe that’s my problem. Well there’s just not room, my room is too small, I have roommates always using the common rooms and the basement is the dog fortress and grosses me out too much. There is a tiny room with an elliptical and no dog piss scent; maybe that will do. That’s it, by golly; just by writing today I have figured out how to solve that problem. I didn’t think I had space, but really I was just looking for an excuse not to work out. Not tonight.

The parents are coming over for dinner tonight so I will probably skip the gym itself but try and get a workout in at home, in the tiny basement room. Maybe I’ll even try a short run outside because it’s so nice. Idk though, my knee started acting up last night while running and I’ve never felt that way before, it even hurt when I  was walking. So I read if something hurts, rest it two days and if it still hurts rest more, if a few weeks in it still hurts it’s time to see a doctor. So for me, I think it doesn’t hurt while walking much at all today, let’s try a run tonight, maybe not my best idea but when I get in an exercise groove I try not to leave it.

So I’m proud to say it’s the second to last day of January and I succeeded in only effing up “No Fast Food January” once! Yay me! And Damn Taco Bell/Girls Night! I’m also proud to say that even though I’m still stuck between 160-165 lbs. I haven’t gone back up to 165 at all so I’m hoping I’m slowly but surely losing some weight! Next month will be a hard one to choose what to give up, my dad usually gives up alcohol for lent no problem but I’m a social butterfly who likes to have a good time, so that’s not realistic at all. Neither is giving up something I don’t have very often at all, like soda (maybe I shouldn’t have chosen fast food because I don’t eat much of that either) That’s my problem, I eat everything in moderation so I don’t think I have a diet problem, but it’s obviously whatever I’m eating is just not compatible with my metabolism. I digress. So next month I should try sweets, all of them, no desserts, no chocolates, and no ice creams. So February = No Dessert February. Try it with me, or maybe you can try no fast food February, that would’ve sounded better. Damn.

Well thanks for tuning in my loves, hopefully in a few days I’ll have some more good news for you, cross your fingers I can finally drop below 160, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anything below that so I will be pretty darn excited.

Have a wonderful day everyone! J

Progress

So I had to post two posts in one day because the workout blog I wrote a week ago and forgot to post! Woops! Proud to say I’ve made some progress since then, even lost a couple pounds J

I didn’t start the week off great in terms of exercise but I didn’t eat any fast food! That’s what this month is going to be, no fast food January, and I did eff up once on girls night with some Taco Bell, so sue me, we all do it. But I did eventually make it to the gym; Weds, Thurs and Fri! A Friday workout is impressive for me, I’m very social and love to go out and it would take me extra-long to get ready if I go to the gym. I would’ve liked to go Saturday and Sunday but the social life a.k.a too tired after a long night of partying took over.

I’ve hated lifting at the gym lately; all the New Year’s resolutioners are there, takin up all my machines, frustrating me. But hey I can’t be upset when people are in there bettering themselves just like I’m trying to. But anyways I’ve been doing just little things at home in terms of lifting before I head to the gym to run. I usually find good workouts on Pinterest and I also know a thing or two from playing sports when I was younger, they always made you train and workout.

One feat I am very proud of lately is the increase in stamina I’ve had while running. I talked about running in my last post and forgot to mention a really big accomplishment, at least for me. I ran for 10 minutes straight! 20 total. That is a friggin miracle for this asthmatic smoker. And I’ll do ya one better, that happened weeks ago, and last night, I ran for 15 minutes straight, 30 total. Steppin my game up folks, and very proud of me. I’ve even been losing, wavering between 165/160 for a week, please oh please body and mind give me the strength to keep this up and see my results!

Now in terms of music and how I get myself going, because I don’t know about you, but I need some good jams to keep me going, I need more music. I already have two play lists called “workout” and “running” and they consist of mostly rock, techno and a little rap. I bet I could go longer/harder if I had more of a variety to listen to, definitely open to some suggestions, I like music with a beat so I have something to keep my legs going with, I can’t just run to anything, gotta be fast paced.

I was looking for pictures to do the before and after and at 185 I obviously didn’t have to many pictures taken of me, not where it’s very clear or where I look awful, but you know what it’s like to feel awful and that is enough. I know most people put up pictures in sports bras and stuff to show the big change but I don’t have any of those, not from 20 pounds ago at least, I do have a bikini pic but looking at it, I feel lame saying I look bad because there are people who would probably like to look like that, but for me I was really unhappy with my looks at that point in time, I still am but have made some progress I should be proud of.  I also happen to just carry my weight really well but the number on the scale kills me, maybe I need to just remember better that muscle weighs more than fat, I just need to get rid of the fat. So here’s the 185 pictures, I will try and get one from 165/now a.s.a.p. for you guys, the whole less clothing shebang too.

 

Side note I didn’t know shebang was a real word until just now, how funny.

Well thanks for tuning in; I promise to keep up with this thing. Keep me accountable tho guys, I need you! Hope yall have a wonderful day!

Weightloss Journey Begins

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get this thing started…time for the weight loss portion of the blog to begin! Firstly I have no idea what the heck I’m doing here as to outlining my workouts and nutrition and what not so maybe I’ll talk about planning before the beginning of posts. I mean I know how to work out and what works for me so that’s good, but I want to be one of those super gym freaks who goes almost every day of the week and maps out workouts and foods and snacks, it will benefit me and hopefully others to stick with it.

So far I just eat decently healthy, mostly home cooked meals with the occasional dining out or fast food and workout a few times a week if that. My workouts used to be better; I would do cardio for half an hour then lift a few weights. Now I just do cardio for an hour and feel tired and stretch, do abs then go home. I want the energy to be able to push; I want to be motivated to keep going. I need to sculpt my other muscles because I don’t want to become “skinny fat” which happens to runners who don’t exercise other muscle groups, they just run, which I’ve been doing. Oops!

I will say though, running has done tremendous things for me. We all know it’s great for you but let me just tell you my personal story so far because it even inspires me.

I never could run, my whole life; I have asthma. When I was young before I ruined my lungs with tobacco and whacky tabacky I still couldn’t run, not for long periods of time, I just get so winded. Then as an older person with my bad habits it was still really hard. I have learned to push through, and because of it I have learned most of what was holding me back was mental. Don’t get me wrong asthma is a real disease and will prohibit some physical activities, but I shouldn’t have used it as an excuse for as long as I have, it was really just me being out of shape.

So why do I love running now? Firstly, I have a huge cellulite problem, sometimes its genetic, others is from poor diet and exercise habits, or both; for me I think it’s both. But my cellulite has cleared up considerably since I started running a few months ago. And my legs, oh my stars my legs; I have hated them since forever, they’re thick, I have borderline cankles (even though everyone says I don’t, I hate them). Can you see where I get my self-hatred from? Haha My legs have looked thinner and better and more defined than they ever have in my whole life and I hope that continues. I just need to keep at it and get in there.

Diet you say? That is probably where I need the most improvement because health is 80% diet and 20% fitness. I can run all I want and still be a heffer eating McD’s all day (thankfully I do not do that). I live with my sister and her hub, who incidentally loves to cook, and I feel that homemade meals are healthier for you, even if it’s not the healthiest meal, it’s better than pizza or fast food right? So I eat that a lot, and on lunch I try to eat like lean quizines and soups, I check calories on a lot of things but am not the greatest at portioning. So my diet overall need improvement and I think I’ve got a few jump starts as to how.

Firstly my sister and her hub did this great thing last year where every month they gave up something; i.e. no pizza November, no desert December.. Etc. I think I’m going to have no fast food January, and I’ll give up something every month, like alcohol, deserts, certain food types, along with maintaining a good workout regimen. I also find when I stopped drinking as much it helped a lot, but we all know that’s how it goes with alcohol; empty calories.

So that’s the gist of it, what the plan is, I’ll keep you guys updated with my weekly workout schedule and what I eat and great music that gets me motivated. Oh and don’t you worry ill post before and after pics. I’ll post some from when I was 185 down to now: 165 and I’ll do pictures when I reach noticeable goal weights J

Thanks for stopping in, hope you check out the next post, weight loss journey, here we come!

Have a wonderful day!

Mindfulness: The Key To Life

I’m not very good at keeping up with blogging I’ve noticed. However I don’t think anybody follows unless I post the link on my Facebook or Pinterest and they’re bored so I’m sure nobodies missing it too badly. I might scratch the blog thing all together, maybe wait to post until I start a weight loss journey. I already basically have, but I wanted to do before and after pictures and a daily post on what I do and eat; but I’m a big slacker so that will be hard. I think people like to read inspiring stories though, and so far, I haven’t come up with much but the whole patience and positivity mentality…Well anyways I did want to talk about progress because I’ve finally realized I’m making some!!

So as you know I have been seeing a therapist over the past few months, not my first rodeo of course but the most successful one so far I’d say. I have made so much progress that I’ve let go pretty unnoticed until now because as a Capricorn, I see everything in the big picture format; i.e., if I’m not completely fixed and perfect, I haven’t made progress or fixed anything. Not the case.

One thing I’ve learned, and I’m beginning to believe this to be the key to life, is that the problem is never the situation; it is our THOUGHTS about the situation. Everything comes down to your mind and your thoughts and controlling your thoughts to be nothing but positive, good thoughts. So the problem I’ve had for the past 25 years is being super negative and impatient, and I know we all can be but I think that I needed professional help because my negativity was dragging me to an ugly, dark place, making me an ugly person, somebody that I truly am not deep down. So I learned the word mindfulness. That’s a better one liner to describe the “key to life”: Be mindful. Meaning be aware of your thoughts, if you start feeling negativity or ugliness rearing its head, stop yourself right there. It’s not easy but it has changed my life, being mindful and changing unhealthy patterns.

For me being mindful is when I’m driving in the car and catch myself starting to think those road-ragey thoughts when people aren’t driving as overly aggressive as I am. Or when I’m looking in the mirror and telling myself how fat/ugly I am, to stop and look at all the positive sayings and pictures I have posted around the mirror for that very reason. I also try to stop and think about my confidence level and how much its grown since losing 20 pounds last year and how I’ve realized how wonderful I truly am inside and out and how I deserve to feel and believe I am beautiful. Funny thing about that word is how many different things it means. I know I am beautiful, for sure, I have a friggin heart of gold man, but the physical standards most people hold the word beautiful to, are not things I seem to fit. But fuck other people, beauty shall now be my own definition of it, and I am beautiful, and if you have a good heart, so are you. See that right there is progress. Three months ago, I don’t think I could’ve told you I was beautiful, not honestly, and maybe not even out loud; because I was too scared of being judged or being seen as conceited or a liar for saying something untrue. Thankfully I’ve made a lot of progress on stopping that behavior.

One last thing I’d like to touch base on is my health improvements. I should take notes from my dad; 55 and being told by his doctor he is a stud and he wishes all his patients kept themselves in such good shape. That should be a new goal of mine actually, and now it is; the man works out every single day and is pretty health conscious. But since the beginning of last year I started working out, not as a resolution because nobody sticks to those, but as a lifestyle change. I hadn’t done as well as I had hoped, but only a crazy person thinks they’re going to become a daily gym junkie without forcing it to happen. So I go a few times a week, almost every week. Sometimes I slack, get all social and skip gymming it for my friends and drinking and partying, but shit, I’m 25 and single, why not? I deserve some fun, just gotta get back at it the next possible chance. That’s where my issue lies, the next possible chance is always when I’m too lazy to go or find something better to do. I really need to start holding myself accountable, I need someone else to hold me accountable, help me out guys! But having said that, I am proud of the progress I have made, lost 20 pounds in 2012 and hoping for at least the same, maybe 30 pounds in 2013. Sounds like a lot to lose from my short 5’5” stature but I’m a thick girl built of big bones and big muscles, that this lazy bum let turn to fat over the past six years. For those super curious people, a whopping 165 is what I weight currently, I wear it well because I’m curvy and muscular, but is till am not happy with what I see, and its not based on other peoples standards for once. Tonight I wanna go to the gym, planned to go, but realized it’s the first Monday of the month, and my gym, so idiotically gives away free pizza on the first Monday of every month. This crowds the gym full of people who never usually go, and on top of that we’ve got the New Year’s resolutioners. Yikes, maybe today would be a good workout at home day. Either way I want to hold myself accountable and get my ass in there. It helps that the bottom line of every page in my planner says “Get your ass to the gym!! J”

Thanks for tuning in, I’m hoping I get my shit together and plan out this weight loss journey, what I good time to start really, a whole year to make this progress and maybe more! But I need all of you, keep reading, leave me a comment, some inspiration, some something, I can’t do it alone people!!

Hope yall have a fantastic Monday!

This is my new moto, for life.