Mindfulness: The Key To Life

I’m not very good at keeping up with blogging I’ve noticed. However I don’t think anybody follows unless I post the link on my Facebook or Pinterest and they’re bored so I’m sure nobodies missing it too badly. I might scratch the blog thing all together, maybe wait to post until I start a weight loss journey. I already basically have, but I wanted to do before and after pictures and a daily post on what I do and eat; but I’m a big slacker so that will be hard. I think people like to read inspiring stories though, and so far, I haven’t come up with much but the whole patience and positivity mentality…Well anyways I did want to talk about progress because I’ve finally realized I’m making some!!

So as you know I have been seeing a therapist over the past few months, not my first rodeo of course but the most successful one so far I’d say. I have made so much progress that I’ve let go pretty unnoticed until now because as a Capricorn, I see everything in the big picture format; i.e., if I’m not completely fixed and perfect, I haven’t made progress or fixed anything. Not the case.

One thing I’ve learned, and I’m beginning to believe this to be the key to life, is that the problem is never the situation; it is our THOUGHTS about the situation. Everything comes down to your mind and your thoughts and controlling your thoughts to be nothing but positive, good thoughts. So the problem I’ve had for the past 25 years is being super negative and impatient, and I know we all can be but I think that I needed professional help because my negativity was dragging me to an ugly, dark place, making me an ugly person, somebody that I truly am not deep down. So I learned the word mindfulness. That’s a better one liner to describe the “key to life”: Be mindful. Meaning be aware of your thoughts, if you start feeling negativity or ugliness rearing its head, stop yourself right there. It’s not easy but it has changed my life, being mindful and changing unhealthy patterns.

For me being mindful is when I’m driving in the car and catch myself starting to think those road-ragey thoughts when people aren’t driving as overly aggressive as I am. Or when I’m looking in the mirror and telling myself how fat/ugly I am, to stop and look at all the positive sayings and pictures I have posted around the mirror for that very reason. I also try to stop and think about my confidence level and how much its grown since losing 20 pounds last year and how I’ve realized how wonderful I truly am inside and out and how I deserve to feel and believe I am beautiful. Funny thing about that word is how many different things it means. I know I am beautiful, for sure, I have a friggin heart of gold man, but the physical standards most people hold the word beautiful to, are not things I seem to fit. But fuck other people, beauty shall now be my own definition of it, and I am beautiful, and if you have a good heart, so are you. See that right there is progress. Three months ago, I don’t think I could’ve told you I was beautiful, not honestly, and maybe not even out loud; because I was too scared of being judged or being seen as conceited or a liar for saying something untrue. Thankfully I’ve made a lot of progress on stopping that behavior.

One last thing I’d like to touch base on is my health improvements. I should take notes from my dad; 55 and being told by his doctor he is a stud and he wishes all his patients kept themselves in such good shape. That should be a new goal of mine actually, and now it is; the man works out every single day and is pretty health conscious. But since the beginning of last year I started working out, not as a resolution because nobody sticks to those, but as a lifestyle change. I hadn’t done as well as I had hoped, but only a crazy person thinks they’re going to become a daily gym junkie without forcing it to happen. So I go a few times a week, almost every week. Sometimes I slack, get all social and skip gymming it for my friends and drinking and partying, but shit, I’m 25 and single, why not? I deserve some fun, just gotta get back at it the next possible chance. That’s where my issue lies, the next possible chance is always when I’m too lazy to go or find something better to do. I really need to start holding myself accountable, I need someone else to hold me accountable, help me out guys! But having said that, I am proud of the progress I have made, lost 20 pounds in 2012 and hoping for at least the same, maybe 30 pounds in 2013. Sounds like a lot to lose from my short 5’5” stature but I’m a thick girl built of big bones and big muscles, that this lazy bum let turn to fat over the past six years. For those super curious people, a whopping 165 is what I weight currently, I wear it well because I’m curvy and muscular, but is till am not happy with what I see, and its not based on other peoples standards for once. Tonight I wanna go to the gym, planned to go, but realized it’s the first Monday of the month, and my gym, so idiotically gives away free pizza on the first Monday of every month. This crowds the gym full of people who never usually go, and on top of that we’ve got the New Year’s resolutioners. Yikes, maybe today would be a good workout at home day. Either way I want to hold myself accountable and get my ass in there. It helps that the bottom line of every page in my planner says “Get your ass to the gym!! J”

Thanks for tuning in, I’m hoping I get my shit together and plan out this weight loss journey, what I good time to start really, a whole year to make this progress and maybe more! But I need all of you, keep reading, leave me a comment, some inspiration, some something, I can’t do it alone people!!

Hope yall have a fantastic Monday!

This is my new moto, for life.