Eager to Please

Okay sooo I haven’t made it to the gym like I wanted to, stupid me forgot my gym shoes when I had gotten there last night and snow boots were just not going to work for me, I was there to run! So I went home, but I did get my sweat on, shoveled the sidewalks and driveway. Haven’t done that since I was about 10 years old; thanks dad for always being the snow plower/shoveler J  Needless to say if you’ve ever shoveled snow it’s a good workout, not to mention here in the lovely mitten we got 6 inches of slushy, wet snow…shit was heavy! Still, good workout so I’m not gonna bitch.

So yeah, got that sweat sesh on but still feel a little slackerish, also because I made brownies last night and had wayyy to many… grrr! Oh well, can’t sit here and dwell on regret, just need to learn to make better decisions. Any tips on that I would love because I could sure use them!

I kind of want to address a topic on my mind about friendship. I would consider myself someone who usually aims to please; sometimes to a fault. I generally will agree to whatever my friends want to do even if it’s not exactly what I want, because I don’t want to start any disagreements. I think this has worked to a disadvantage for me.

I don’t think anyone is aware of it or intentionally does it of course, but I think people are so used to me going with the flow, that they don’t think to ask what I want to do, or when it comes down to me asking them to come out with me where I want for once, they bail on me or try to change the plan to what they want to do, my theory is that this all happens because I put out that attitude that I’m not going to care or feel hurt if they do.

I guess it just feels like an unknown to anyone but me double standard. But maybe I’m being way too sensitive, maybe I’m even being passive aggressive by writing about it in here instead of talking to them about it. But that goes back to the not wanting to have a disagreement; I have a hard time being honest about my feelings, face to face at least, because I don’t want to hurt other people or making them feel bad. Plus, some people are rather hard to get through to, the minute you have a “problem” or whatever you need to talk about, they go into defense mode like you’re trying to attack them. That has been the most common response when I approach people, which is why I have such a hard time doing so these days. And I swear it’s not the way I approach a situation, I know how to come at someone in a very, very polite, tip-toeing on egg shells manner; it’s just the type of people I’m trying to get through to I think/hope? I just wish it was that simple to convey how you feel and have it sink in, without affecting someone negatively at all. That, ladies and lads, is just not how life goes.

On a fun note I have a fun weekend to look forward to with all my favorite people. The boy is in town; it’s one of my BFF’s birthdays and were taking a party bus out on the town and getting weird! Hell to the yeah! Wish me luck in getting to the gym tomorrow after work, or at least getting a snowy run in! Leave me some love y’all. Have a wonderful day! <3 yours truly